Revenge is a Dish Best Served Hidden

Greetings Humans!

Butch Catsidy here, updating you from my Hole in the Wall hideout. My getaway vehicle has been parked in a secure location for a couple of weeks while my Secondary Human goes off to a thing called “work”. I don’t mind this as it enables him to purchase my required daily treat requirements. So, I allow it, even though it interferes with my ear rub schedule. My Primary Human stays on look-out duty in his absence and attends to my every need, including typing my blog.

You may recall my last missive from a few weeks ago, when I related the harrowing story about being subjected to the most terrifying ride of my life due to my incompetent staff and a mechanical issue with my getaway vehicle. I will say it is nice to be stationary in my hideout, much less turbulent to my tummy. Although I do still yack as frequently as possible in my new living space, just to keep my Humans on their toes. There’s no need to get complacent just because the house is not moving at present.

Now, I am not really a vindictive creature, cats are far too cool headed to be moved by ‘get even’ emotions. I do however know when a point about my displeasure needs to be made to a certain Human who shall remain unnamed but is Primary in my staff hierarchy. I knew my message needed to be a sublime hint at my disapproval of her job performance of late, less obvious than the 2:00 a.m. hairball hack on the bedding she occupies, no, this had to be special and just for her unsuspected discovery.

While cats are not vengeful, we are creatures of habit. We do like things just so. Normally I am very sweet, especially to my Primary Human. I find that pawsitive reinforcement is a very effective training tool. She really is putty in my paws. Overall, I think I’ve tolerated adapting to life in my small-spaced getaway vehicle with my staff very well. I can handle the wobbliness of being driven to new hideouts. I survived the whole home towing and repair ordeal, but mess with my cat box and lady, you’ve crossed the line. I do appreciate the privacy of my new potty closet, she graciously provided a curtain, which I love to crawl behind. In fact, I often hang out behind my curtain when I need some me time. However, in what should be an oasis of kitty meditation and comforting relief, she put a new and different type of cat box. What was she thinking? It’s just been too much change for me to take. A cat has to make a stand (or a squat) somewhere.

This new thing, which I have to bear the indignity of relieving myself in, is a totally different shape, color and size to my old high-sided favorite. The whole thing is just unacceptable.

Well, what else could I do? She obviously needed some remedial training. I was forced to take action. So, I did what I had to do and tinkled over the side of this short, heinous thing and onto the wall of my kitty loo. I’m not proud, but I did feel a certain satisfaction watching her scrub out my cubby this morning. Point made and taken.

To all my furry brethren out there who live in getaway vehicles of your own with your staff; you have my admiration and support. Keep using your paws-itive reinforcement training techniques, but make sure your staff knows when they have asked too much of you. Your staff should be in tune with your needs. Pets and their Humans travelling together make a lot of adjustments for one another. Mine is replacing that abomination of a cat box even as we speak.

Sincerely,

Butch Catsidy, Fugitive

Transcribed by: Primary Human (in remedial training)

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