The Episode -By Butch Catsidy
I have mentioned this before, good help is hard to find. Even seasoned staff managers like me run into the occasional odd situation that leaves us flummoxed. I had an incident with my Primary Human /Amanuensis just yesterday that I must say really threw me for a loop. Humans are sometime a mystery to me; they can be very emotional creatures. The female domestic’s ‘episode’ yesterday was strange and disturbing to say the least.
The day started much as usual, but the difference was, the weather outside was warm and calm prompting a flurry of indoor/outdoor staff activities in Our Ramblin Van. All the van doors were opened up and the humans were in and out cleaning rugs, filling up tanks, emptying tanks and generally creating havoc with my regular nap time. I decided to seek some privacy and secret myself away to enjoy a little me time while they bustled about. Soon they settled down leaving the front door open and basking in the warmth of the day while gazing out at the hill behind the campsite to watch our neighbor, Wile E. Coyote, hunt for his lunch. Humans have odd hobbies.
After a while of this quiet activity, my Secondary Human asked out loud, “Where’s Butch?” and that is where things took a turn for worse for my Primary Human. Now, she should know by now that criminal cats are very good at hiding. VERY GOOD. She should also know that cats, unlike dogs, do NOT come when you call out to them. Cats are accustomed to doing the summoning, not being summoned.
The humans commenced a futile search for me and again created far too much noise and bustle for me to properly concentrate on my me time, so I quietly stayed put and waited out the hysterics. All that ‘here kitty’ nonsense, phooey. I was relieved when they took their search outside, at least I had some peace and quiet for a little while. After some time, I heard the front door open and then I heard my Primary Human having what can only be described and a major breakdown. It was a loud and disturbing jag of hysterical weeping. For some unknown reason, she had assumed that I had been the lunch she had witnessed Wile E. Coyote catching over on the hill. It was ridiculous, but she was inconsolable and irrationally distraught. Before I knew what was happening, my Secondary Human had opened up the back of the van and then suddenly, the left wall of my hiding spot disappeared and he was looking in at me with more than a little irritation in his eyes, the cheek of him! He announced loudly to my hysterical Primary Human that I was right there on top of the water tank. Well, my me time was ruined. I gave him a look that said, ‘bug off’ and he replaced my hideout wall. After that, things calmed down somewhat, but I stayed tucked away from the chaos until lunch time when the main cabin started to smell pretty yummy.
The minute I stepped out onto the floor, my Primary Human, in a major breach of etiquette, scooped me up and began to babble nonsensically into my fur. She was all red and puffy and mucousy and I got a major case of the heebie jeebies. I quickly shoved off from her grip and kept my distance until she could get ahold of herself. All day she kept looking at me with those icky red eyes and wanting to touch me. I took pity on her when I saw how lethargic her episode had left her and curled up close to her on the bed all afternoon. She kept one hand on my body at all times, I let her, it seemed to comfort her.
Sometimes staff managers have to be tolerant of staff episodes and wait them out until the routine can return to normal. Thankfully, she’s back on the job today and thus my blog is back on track. I still don’t understand what all the fuss was about, but I am relieved it’s over and so is she apparently.
Stay Stealthy,
Butch Catsidy